Sunday, 1 June 2014

Macca on Tactica: Introducing the Dick Lists

Little Billy. 

That prick is back. Yes, it's little Billy. We all know him, we all hate him. What's little Billy doing now? Well, little Billy seems to have a new edition to play, and he is furiously writing lists. Lucky for us, Billy mostly likes to stick to 40k, so he spends much of his time at the moment working on daemon armies that summon over 50 models a turn.

Unfortunately, he also seems to like to get in the quick game of Horus Heresy every now and then, but we don't have the heart to tell our little 14 year old power gamer to piss off. Instead we have to put up with his shit, as well as dealing with his WAAC (win at all costs) attitude.
Thus, Keepy approached me the other day with an idea of his, something we like to call 'dick lists'. These are lists that are designed to maximise and capitalise, using the points limits and your Legion rules to create a list that wins every game by literally sucking the fun out of it like a vampire that feeds on happiness. Or a politician. We have touched on this in the past with Macca on Tactica, hinting at how an army can be built that just seems to be anathema to the hobbyist, and today we are going to look into the subject a little more.
Introducing: The Flying Circus of Douche

So, earlier this week pointed out that a mate of mine came up with a list, at 1000 points he was running a Primis Medicae on Scimitar Jetbike, 2 squads of tac marines and the rest of the points were jetbikes, with a few volkites on the bikes. This is about as simple as it gets, that's 10 jetbikes with T5, 2 up saves, feel no pain, and here's the shooting:

3x BS5 S5 AP4

18x BS4 S5 AP4
12x BS4 S6 AP4 volkite (roll an extra armour save for every failed save)

As a side note, it's called the flying circus of douche as the jetbikes look like douches... coincidence? Well, probably.

Of course with the advent of 7th edition, y'know, like 2 years early at least, this list isn't quite as good as the jink save is not as efficient now. That said, who is sticking their hand up wanting to play this list? Not too many.

Now my friend who played with this list doesn't run it anymore, he simply isn't Billy, he just wants to have fun, but unfortunately, these lists are out there. Being run by Billy.

What can I do to ensure I don't become Billy?

Well, it's simple really, I like to treat it as an exercise in NOT min maxing. We are not playing 7th edition Unbound Lists, we are using the Horus Heresy books, which explain deployments, setups, etc as well as FOC's and the like, so we really just have to stick with that. This is good, because it stops people getting too crazy with their list building.

I like to use a little rule, which is not filling out any slot more then I have filled out on troops. In my typical army, this means I will be running 3-4 troop choices, backed up with 1 HQ, 1 elite, 1 fast attack, and 1 heavy support. This is my 1500 point setup.


HQ: Alvarex Maun

Elites: Destroyers with Jump Packs
Troops: 2x tactical marine squads, 1x tactical support marine squad with a drop pod
Fast Attack: Storm Eagle
Heavy: Sicarian Tank

The list is competitive. It has a single HQ, who is a buffer to the army, it has multiple scoring units which are enhanced by my Legion tactics, Warlord Trait and special rules. The Elites also fit the theme, as I am Raven Guard, so once more the Legion tactics work well. The Storm Eagle has more chance of coming into play when I need it to, thanks again to the HQ, and it provides me with both a transport option and my primary anti-air. The Sicarian is just a great all-rounder. It allows me to be able to take on units all the way up to Land Raiders, however it's designed primarily to take on medium armour and long ranged threats. Worst case, it's also a backup AA unit.

This is the sort of army I love. I have a little of everything, but nothing overwhelming in any one area. It is important for players to know that although you have the ability to fill out any one area of the Force Organisation Chart, you don't need to. In fact, you might a) enjoy the game less for it; or b) actually not go as well as you were planning in certain missions.

I guess it brings me to this: 

It's up to the player at the end of the day, as I have always said, to make the right list. Billy is going to keep min-maxing regardless, bringing a Lord of War as soon as he hits 2000 points, and the biggest one he can fit in for that matter, to go with his army of terminators thanks to his Rite of War. 

Just remember this: Billy needs to win, because it's making up for something else his personality lacks. He may not really be a bad person, but someone who needs to win everything is making up for something.

In closing this small article, over the coming few months, we will be displaying a few lists we feel aren't in keeping with the heart and soul of the game, so keep a look out for little Billy and his shenanigans. 



  1. MACCA this attitude would not last five seconds on the European scene. Win at all costs to us is called fun at all costs buddy.

    Not having a powerful list is bad for spirit of game and army's spirit.

    1. I'm not sure if sarcasm... but WAAC may work in Europe, people may be into that. It happens here too, but I don't think Horus Heresy gamers are WAAC gamers, by and large. I'd rather build a list which is supporting the narrative and go from there, as opposed to trying to win win win. At a tournament, I might bend on this, but for the everyday gamer, there is nothing to win from.. well, winning.

  2. What is fun at all costs for MACCA. Being a little boy and eating candy his mother has gave him?

    You need to grow what we call HAIRY BALLS buddy!

    1. I like candy. I also have hairy balls. I don't need to beat another person with a cheesy list to feel manly.

    2. MACCA MACCA MACCA you hairy balls information is secret for you and lady (or man).

      The feeling of manly is good but it is not just about winning buddy. It is about putting effort in and showing you are not a pushover baby fellow.

      MACCA why be this underachiever?

    3. I don't make lists that are pushovers, but at the same time, I don't try for extremes. It's all simple really for me. Painting is number one. Fluff is number two. Performance is number three.

  3. Hey MACCA, Tim here from over on the Traitor's Hand blog!

    You've made a couple of mistake about the Volkite Culverin rules, they're AP5 and they only do extra hits.. I'm going to be running 8 of them on Myrmidon Destructors, they're the best weight of fire gun ever: 32 shots with BS5 and preferred enemy. That on paper is way more harsh than any of little Billy's force.. But they do cost 495 points, more expensive than any primarch or superheavy! I'm not sure this is a dick list though..

    I guess it all depends on your meta as to how you judge a dick list.

    1. Yeah mate, I am very aware of that, but we are saving the Mechanicum list for a later article, and believe me, Mechanicum is full of dick. (What am I saying, you're a Mechanicum player, you know better then anyone!) I am going off the book 1 volkite rules, I am assuming they updated and/or I just plain made a mistake. Either way tho, they are a nasty kick in the teeth at 1000 points, as they are slightly more survivable then the Myrmidons.

  4. Oh you're talking about 1000pt lists?? Haha ok. I'm glad they've made Castellax non scoring troops now.. They were SO savage at The Emperors Legion's tournament! Unfortunately I think the worst is to come with Mechanicum.. Once they release the Thanatos and the Triaros Armoured Conveyor??? Then we're going to see some real dicklists!!

    I'm going to start running some Tech-Thralls to try and defuse some of the dicklist anger..

    1. I'm pretty certain that changing Castellax was the right move, however I would have made them non-compulsory slot filling as it would force people to pay the Thallax-tax. It doesn't have to be 1000 point lists, Keepy has a range of ideas on lists, I also encourage people to send us their ideas for dick lists and we might post them up.